Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I Miss My Free & Easy Life

Just finished my dinner at 9.45pm... So how's my 1st day of work today?? It SUXS!!! Why? Woke up at 6.30am... got changed, left my house and got to the bus-stop at 7.35am... Although I managed to get up the bus, I was already standing on the steps at the front door area. I stood all the way to Still Rd before I got a seat... And the stupid bus was so crowded and jerky... almost fell coz I could not balance on my high heels!! Damn! Really regret buying the pair of heels to wear to work on Monday, I should have bought the flats instead! Furthermore, the whole journey took 1 hour!!

When I reached office... I was told to wait in a room for another 2 newcomers to arrive. After that I was given my security pass and brought to my department. There wasn't even a proper orientation for me, as in they did not even introduce me around - neither to the people nor the place!! I did not even know where the pantry, photocopying machines or printers are until I asked Vanessa! She was also surprised that they did bring me around to be familiarize with the area! I was just told to sit down at one of the tables to read a stack of notes! Did that for the whole day today... It was super bored lor!! I was so bored till I almost fell asleep for a few times!!

Later when I enthusiastically asked one of the seniors if where I was sitting would be my permanent table, she said no. Immediately, I feel like there was no sense of belonging! Although I went for lunch with Vanessa and a few other gals, but maybe seeing that Vanessa mixed well with the rest of the people there when I still do not know them, I feel kinda lonely and left out.

I am experiencing the alien feeling that most people will experience on their first day at work, which is something which always makes me wanna quit the job! Frankly speaking, I was thinking to myself just now while I was reading my notes - I don't think this is what I enjoy doing... Did I make a wrong choice again?? Probably if I had chose to take up the other job offer the other time, it would have been a better choice!

Why can't we try out jobs before accepting them just like how we try on clothings before buying them??!

Time was so hard to pass just now... Endured till 6.15pm when it's time to knock off, yet I did not dare to leave as nobody was leaving yet... However, I left with Vanessa at 6.30pm... I have to walk quite a distance from the office block to my bus-stop! Finally I can go home to rest!! Initially, I still thought of asking if Eileen would be going down to Wine so that I can join her and at the same time go see Deardear, but I was too tired. By the time I reached home, the sky has turned dark! It was 7.30pm already!

From now onwards, I think I am left with very little time for my own activities which makes me feel very igitated! All I can do is to come home, take my shower, have my dinner, talk to Deardear on the phone for awhile and maybe come online to blog then go to bed! And the work lifecycle begins again once I open my eyes the next morning! This kind of life suxs!!!!!!

Even now I feel weird, or rather sad that I must go to sleep when Deardear is still working at Wine! I am just so used to waiting for him to reach home after his work then talk to him on the phone for as long as 1 hour! But now... our conversation has to be kept short coz no matter how, he is still working and I must sleep early... I really hate this kind of lifestyle!!! =(

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