Monday, October 09, 2006

Cause and Effect of Misunderstanding Someone

Being said as fucked-up? Yes, I guessed I am.

Probably I shouldn't have blog on the previous entry that led to such misunderstandings... I knew that the person concerned would read it, yet I posted my frustration here. That's bcoz I think venting my frustration is my problem, just like everyone else does in their blog. Now I even have to think twice before posting this entry, hoping that it will not lead to a worse situation.

Despite all negative thoughts revolving in my head and here, I still talked to her today as per normal and to treat what has happened yesterday as over after the let-out.

Received a reply from my supervisor regarding her rejection on my request for block leave... Expected the rejection and was told to choose other dates. Approached her to ask how I was supposed to block my leave when there are no slots avail for blocking 5 or 10 days in a row... She then offered to squeeze in a 5-days leave into a slot which was shown as fully blocked, splitting up the other 4 days into individual slots as she said that I have no other choice.

Also exchanged my shift with R for the following weekend as I have a friend's wedding to attend. I thought that she might have already changed it with C, but apparently she didn't. That was when I realized that I might have really mistaken C in some way...

Just like what Dear always said about me, I am always blinded by the pessimistic thoughts within me and that was exactly what happened yesterday, which made me think that life is so unfair and the only way out is to quit my job, making a big hoo-ha over small matters. Only then I regretted posting the previous entry bcoz I knew that I have mistaken her. But it was too late as I was already at work and was unable to access to the net to remove my last entry.

Well, as written in her blog, she is clear that she isn't in the wrong. Yes, now that I am sure that she really is not in the wrong. I admit that it was my mistake for not asking but chose to perceive her in the wrong way and make assumptions about the untrue.

Perhaps she really had her reasons and I actually mistook her in a bad way for breaking the unexpected news to me bcoz she did it too suddenly when I just arrived at work. Reason being that I have actually spotted that slot 2 days ago to block my leave and even took the effort to come home and discuss it with my Dear first. And so I have already made plans to book the slot as soon as I returned to work. Then come the sudden news that the same slot that I have intended to block was taken. I believe anyone in my shoes would get frustrated, despite putting in the extra step to even discuss it and make plans with someone.

Anyway, I think explaining things further would lead to nowhere now... Perhaps I should just apologize to her directly.

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